Women have come a long way in their fight for equality and women’s rights. Gone are the days when we were expected to stay at home and be merely ornamental. Today’s women have thriving careers, manage homes, bring up kids – all at once, and are superwomen.
If I look at myself, from childhood my mother drilled one thing into me – to be self-sufficient and financially independent. She used to tell me that it did not matter if I did not want to cook or do any other household chore. There was a lifetime to learn all that.
But studying, or pursuing any of the creative arts, had to be done while one is in one’s formative years or it becomes very difficult to do it later. I took her parental guidance as my mantra and did just that. I have been called “undomesticated” and many other names, because it bores the life out of me to do jobs like make rotis or wash clothes – I can do any of that in a pinch but they do not interest me or bring out the best in me. However, I have a healthy amount of respect for women who dedicate their lives to making beautiful homes because believe me that is no less than a full time career and without any of the benefits.
The problem with us women is that because most of us are juggling careers and households, we tend to look down our nose a little at those who just manage households. And that is where the problem lies. Even as I write this blog, I heartily believe that every woman should be financially secure and independent – it does not matter if she is a corporate hot shot or not. However, there are women who have had to sacrifice their careers for their families and they deserve a mention here.
Let me start with the woman who brought me into this world. My mother had a Master’s Degree in Bengali and had planned to become a teacher. Fate played a hand, and my grandfather became so ill, that she spent most of her time taking care of him. Over the years many people asked her why she did not tutor children or sell sarees and she used to resent that. I know she regretted not doing more with her life but she gave the full benefit of her time to bringing me up. She is the one who nurtured any creative side I had, taught me to read as much as I could, forced me to study, and pushed me to start earning. My belief is that, had she been a working mom, she could not have devoted so much time to me. I salute her for all the sacrifices she made for her family.
As I write this, another woman comes to mind – my cousin sister-in-law. I have never met a
more sophisticated, erudite, and elegant lady. She was excellent in her studies and wanted to teach at university. Again, because her husband had to move about from one place to another, she could not pursue her own dreams, and instead she spends all her time making her home into one that can feature in one of those glossy magazines, and bringing up her daughter – who I must say is turning into the most talented and beautiful young woman. Kudos to her for her stellar job as a wife and mother.
Closer home, my own sister-in-law is another example. A student of merit, she had a rising career in corporate training, when she got pregnant with twins. The risk of doing a full-time job along with her pregnancy, made her leave her job just before she was due to be promoted. Since then, she has thrown all her energy into bringing up the twins and keeping her house in perfect order. But she refuses to give up. Amid all this, she completed her B Ed with flying colors and taught at school for a few years. She is going back to teaching higher classes soon and refuses to just be a stay at home mother. Again, you have to admire her for her tenacity and perseverance in wanting to do something more.
Women have limitless potential in them – whether they use it in the workplace, or home, or both. As women, let us not belittle any achievement – whether it be an award for doing a great job or baking that perfect soufflé or teaching your child the right values. Homemaker or career maker – we can do anything we want!